Every January, we’re encouraged to reset our lives.
New habits.
New goals.
A better version of ourselves.
For a long time, I played along. But over time, I’ve stepped away from New Year resolutions, not because growth doesn’t matter, but because the way we frame change matters more than we realise.
Resolutions are built on pressure.
Most resolutions rely on discipline and willpower, as if these are unlimited resources. They rarely account for fatigue, emotional load, unexpected events, or the complexity of real life.
When a resolution falls apart, the story becomes personal: I didn’t try hard enough.
Rarely do we question whether the plan itself was realistic.
A calendar date doesn’t create readiness.
Change doesn’t happen because the year changed.
Readiness comes from awareness, capacity, timing, and support. January can be reflective, quiet, or simply about regaining balance. Expecting transformation on demand ignores how change actually works.
The all-or-nothing trap!
Resolutions often create rigid rules.
Miss a day, and the momentum disappears. Miss a week, and the resolution feels broken. This pattern leads to guilt, then avoidance, rather than sustainable growth.
Real change is adaptive, not absolute.
What I choose instead:
Instead of resolutions, I choose direction.
Direction allows flexibility. It adjusts to hard weeks and changing circumstances.
Rather than asking “What must I achieve?” I ask: What do I want more of this year? What do I want less of? What needs protecting?
This creates movement without pressure.
Process over outcomes.
Outcomes are visible. Processes are transformative.
Rather than focusing on end results, I pay attention to:
How I structure my days. How I speak to myself. How I respond when plans change. How I return after pauses.
These shifts may look small, but they’re the ones that last.
A gentler alternative:
If resolutions don’t sit right with you, try this instead:
This year, I’m committed to supporting myself by ______.
For instance:
This year, I’m committed to supporting myself by…
…protecting my energy as carefully as my time.
…choosing consistency over intensity.
…allowing progress to be uneven without judging it.
No deadlines.
No streaks.
No failure.
Just intention and responsiveness.
Moving into the year differently.
You don’t need to reinvent yourself in January.
You don’t need a dramatic plan.
You need something that respects your capacity and allows growth at a human pace.
“Change happens not when we push harder, but when we listen more closely.”
Have a fantastic year ahead! 💫
Bình
Binh Doan 